Friday, April 29, 2016

Does That Sleigh Have Brake Lights, Mr Claus? LBC

Regulations. It's all about regulations. Its all for the greater good. It simply isn't safe to have  fat guys in red suits running around in sleighs without brake lights. Even with the plethora of new cars being advertised that stop on their own. People traveling behind that sleigh should all have the opportunity to be warned by brake lights.
Image result for cartoon santa sleigh

And another thing - do reindeer poop when pulling that sleigh? How many sleigh followers have  had their windshields covered in  reindeer poop? Clearly another safety issue. Another regulation needed, to be sure.  We need to make travel safe for all, don't ya know.

And that bag. Clearly Mr. Claus cannot see clearly behind him with that big bag - at least for half of his trip.  Another regulation crying to be in place.

Clearly we must consider regulating Christmas to keep everyone safe from that accident waiting to happen - aka Santa in his sleigh. I mean he has already taken out Grandma. Who is next? We simply cannot allow this to continue unregulated. We have plenty of time ot get this atrocity 
 before the holiday season assaults our senses with Christmas ads, floating heads Santas and barking dogs.

This weeks tussle with insanity was suggested by Lin.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

I Think My Dancing School Diploma Just Expired LBC Post

This weeks topic comes from the fertile mind of Lin - methinks this is her musical equivalent of a fractal equation from her mathematician better half. How did she even know a buffalo petite such as I had a dancing school diploma?  Alas - when the knees go so does the dancing and my knees are long gone. Diploma expired. Condemned to sitting and watching. Aided by  a few adult beverages. Another of those life changing events.

I have mentioned before that at one time I was a member of a Polynesian dance troupe. True story. One of the many things I did was the Samoan fire knife.I was pretty good at it too - but admittedly was never as good looking as the guy in this photo but I could do the knife tricks. The Samoan knife dances sere the mostr fun  things we did as far as I was concerned but the Maori Hakas were a close second. - maybe because those bead skirts were more manly that th egrass skirts we wore for Tahitian.


New Zealand sport teams perform hakas prior to international matches -  check out the American pro basketball player responses in this one.

My dancing career lasted about three years and ended about the time I quit playing football in college. Lynn was not thrilled about the coed dressing rooms and stuff like that.The friend that got me involved is now a well respected Kumu with a professional dance troupe he He's been one of my best friends since  sixth grade. And there are NO existing photos of me in a grass skirt Ramana so don't ask.

Thursday, April 14, 2016


Fresh on the heels of last weeks Old Days comes this weeks topic - Aging. Ramana proposed the topic and since he does not eat meat I think it is a safe assumption he was  not thinking wet or dry when he conjured said topic.

Truth be told, when you consider wet and dry aging both refer to methods of meat spoilage allegedly to increase the flavor maybe Rummy has the right idea.

Now when it comes to adult beverages like wine  and single-malt whiskey. aging does improve the taste. I have personally experimented numerous times over the years and can conclusively say it is a fact. 12-yr old Glenlivet is excellent, 18-yr and 21-yr old Glenlivet are even better. I suspect the adage holds true for other adult beverages although most of my experience is with single-malts and red wine - along with beer.  And even  though I am not a wine aficionado by any stretch of the imagination, I know last weeks Merlot will taste better in a yea

From the moment of our birth we begin the aging process until it stops. As part of the process we grow up - and out. Our hair changes color, typically going to some shade of gray. In some cases the hair flees the scene. But no matter what, there are fundamental things that occur as we age.

Joints may ache due to years of abuse or arthritis. Some places on our body may sag a bit as we age. And occasionally we have memory lapses. 

But through it all, the aging process is just that - a process. Every day it moves us toward the end of the line.

Speaking of which - it is time to see what the other LBC posters have to say about aging.


Thursday, April 7, 2016

The old days - LBC 04/08

This weeks topic was my suggestion. 

Were the old days really better than today? Certainly there were good days - we were all kids once. Playing baseball every day during the summer. Watching favorite TV shows with friends and family. Playing jacks with Sally Ann Ransdell (she whipped my butt regularly). Saturday at the Uptown Theater for an entire day of horror movies Saturdays or the Bowery Boys laugh fests with Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hal.

At the same time a substantial part of the population lived a lie - in the closet hiding their homosexuality. Real careers were only a dream for  50% of the population. The female half. And in many parts of the country segregation was the order of the day. In my home town it wasn't always an obvious thing but it was there bubbling beneath the surface. All of which reminds me of a line from one of my favorite songs - Yesterdays over my shoulder but I can't look back for too long. There's just too much to see waiting in front of me and I know that I just can't go wrong with these changes in attitude, changes in latitude".

Life is about change.  Drink your nostalgic  kool aid on occasion and play this tune once in a while.

Now to some the old days pertains to today. Every day.  At 66 most days I feel  my age in my joints. That's my fault for not taking better care of myself physically over the years. But remember that old adage "Everyone grows old but not everyone grows up". That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

April Fool

Its that time again. Once a year everything you read and see is suspect because it is April 1. April fools day. Interestingly enough, this election year here in the U.S.A. virtually everyday has seemed like April fools day with the outlandish  nonsense that is spouted by one or more candidates. It is hard to believe that one of the five remaining candidates could be our next president. There's a septuagenarian Jew, a criminal former secretary of state, a Canadian vampire, the orange-faced spawn of an orangutan and wrinkled, worn-out looking John Kasich.  But enough politics.  Time for a musical interlude.

Then there is this.....

   Following a recent product leak, Facebook executives have confirmed rumors of an unprecedented new feature which will automatically scan your Facebook News Feed for opinions, datasets, and scientific facts which might possibly upset you--then alter them to match your beliefs.
"We think the public is going to love this new feature," a Facebook correspondent informed The Satirist. "People don't want to deal with other folks' opinions unless those opinions agree with their own. Facebook's new feature will fix this problem, so everyone will seem to think what you think."
Back in April 2015, Facebook launched a beta version of this feature, which met with unanimous applause.
"I used to have to read about scientists believing that climate change is real," says one happy beta-tester. "Now, whenever I read my news feed, it tells me that science says climate change is bogus!"
The new feature employs extensive AI (Artificial Intelligence) to identify and adjust offending material--including (but not limited to): peer-reviewed articles, political propaganda, poorly-spelled rage rants, pie charts, linear regressions, and more.
"We're tired of Google Search holding the monopoly on validating the internet's confirmation biases," our Facebook correspondent explained. "We want people to be able to use the Facebook network to reach the conclusion that the bulk of humanity already believes what they believe."
Facebook plans to release this feature to its general users this upcoming fall, expecting the release to finally put an end to book-length, poorly-written inflammatory rants about how other people have all the facts wrong.

Thank you  Satirist Newsletter.

Reader beware -

See ya next week,same bat time, same bat channel for more LBC discussion


Friday, March 25, 2016

Of Easter Eggs And Hot Cross Bunnies

My old friend Lin has once again offered up a challenging topic for this weekly blog exercise. She is able to mine amazing depth from seemingly innocuous topics.

Easter has always perplexed me a bit. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus - and knowingly  celebrates it at the wrong time of year as well as coinciding with a pagan winter holiday. Well fine. But, the cornerstone of Christianity is eternal life represented by being born again" and promised everlasting life in the form an afterlife for the faithful. So how is it celebrated? Baskets of candy, colorful Easter eggs hunted by kids and the Easter Bunny as a symbol.  Frankly it all seems more than a  bit insulting to me. Oh - then there is the dressing up part wherein folks dress in their sartorial finery and head off to church - many for the first time of the year. 

But enough complaining! On to Easter Eggs. I have very fond memories of coloring Easter Eggs with my kids. And of hiding same and watching the kids - along with friends - scramble around the yard  looking for them.  Why? According to the egg, an ancient symbol of new life, has been associated with pagan festivals celebrating spring. From a Christian perspective, Easter eggs are said to represent Jesus’ emergence from the tomb and resurrection. Decorating eggs for Easter is a tradition that dates back to at least the 13th century, according to some sources. Hmm - there's that pagan thing again.

Hot cross bunnies??

Now you may find this somewhat hard to believe but of all the pastries in the world my absolute least favorite happens to be hot cross buns, clearly the inspiration for hot cross bunnies and so even  with a good cup of coffee handy for dunking,  I'll pass.  And it occurs to me  y'all may think i am a humbug Easter guy. Not true. 

Anything that brings joy to kids and others is a good thing.  And while I am  admittedly not one of the faithful, I do NOT begrudge anyone (unless they are attempting to blow up innocent people) their faith. I say Merry Christmas and Happy Easter to them all. And pass the ham - I'd like some more. But religion? Anyone that knows me knows where I stand.

For the faithful I offer this tune -  not a hymn but if you listen to the lyrics it is profoundly spiritual.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Ring Those Bells

This weeks topic was suggested by Lin.

Ring those bells. What bells you might ask? Lets start with Tubular Bells.

How about some church bells? I bet L{in has hear some of hse up close and personal.

Bells on a hill and a Beatle

Bohemian Rhapsody on bells

I'm not really sue which bells Lin wanted but we've rung a few here!